Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
