when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
