Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
