I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I skipped work to stalk him.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
