i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
barbara walters just said penis...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
