I could make wine with my vomit
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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