Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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