She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
