Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
