I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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