Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
