I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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