Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
