is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you would pick up someone in the library
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
