How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is the high leading the old right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
