I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
