Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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