we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You took a bar mat shot.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize