Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize