are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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