I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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