when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize