the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
