im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
