i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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