The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
