Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
