I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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