Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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