I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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