Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
