Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
