Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
