hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
