Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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