Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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