take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
