Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We got so high we made milksteak
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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