don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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