Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
