Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
