guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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