sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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