I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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