butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
