So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
