he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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