I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
