I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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