I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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