I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
