You smell like a Billy Joel song
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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