weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
