Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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