Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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