she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize