those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize