finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
