i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
They have beer where we have blood.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
