I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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