Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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