Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
