i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
