so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
