i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
