a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if only i could text you this smell
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The best revenge is premature balding
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
