Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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